Self Justification Thought Patterns

11/2/11 – Thoughts of wanting to smoke again, I see myself being strongly influenced by the idea of just going out and saying ‘fuck it, I may as well, its been so long’. I must remind myself that anything that has power to influence me within me, is something that I have separate myself from, and which has ‘more’ power over me as it is externalised from me. No motivation to do anything unless I know im smoking

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the belief that I am strongly influenced by the thought of wanting to smoke, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this as a pre abdication of responsibility, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the thought ‘fuck it, I may as well, its been so long’. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to unconditionally show myself that anything that has the power to influence me is something that I am separating from me, I direct myself to breathe, and stand one and equal to this mind pattern until I stop it. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still exist in and participate as the mind behaviour pattern of not being motivated to do something unless I know ill be smoking.

Thought that oh I’ve come this Far, I may as well! The way I see my mind legitimising it, ‘if I don’t promise not to masturbate, then it wont be so bad if I don’t smoke, I still have one thing I am transcending.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the thought justification ‘I’ve come this far, I may as well!’ I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in this thought. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the thought ‘if I don’t masturbate, then it wont be so bad if I don’t smoke, if I don’t smoke, then it wont be so bad if I don’t masturbate, either way, ill still have one thing I am ‘transcending’. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in this thought justification